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I quit shortly after my last entry because … I don't know. This project already exists in another form and was tired of grinding to make things work. Plus, the computer that could have handled blender the best is dead right now. I think I’m tired of creating solo. I need someone to help me with this.
Right now, I’m battling self-doubt and procrastination. I took a hard look at my progress, and it doesn’t match my expectations, which drained my motivation. I spent most of the weekend doing everything except working on this project. Now, the only way forward is to commit and produce something, even if it’s not perfect.
I've hit a slump with this project. I've overcome the animation brick wall where I struggled to make anything work, and now have a comfortable workflow. However, my animation skills aren't at a professional level yet—you can get the gist of what I'm trying to show, but it's clearly amateur work. This has been demoralizing because there's a gap between my vision for this project and the reality of my current skills.
As usual, I've started experimenting with other things, like web animations. I want to learn GSAP and have been bouncing between brainstorming web animation layouts and researching how others use this tool. Now I'm looking at TV and movie intros for inspiration, hoping to find motion graphics elements I could recreate with GSAP.
I've put my Blender project aside for a few days, hoping to regain motivation. But I probably need to rely on discipline rather than inspiration if I want to complete this project, regardless of how it turns out.
Several thoughts keep circling in my head about this process:
"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners. I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple of years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste (the thing that got you into the game) is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or are still in this phase, you gotta know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap and your work will be as good as your ambitions. It's gonna take a while. It's normal to take a while. You've just gotta fight your way through."
Even if progress feels slow and my work isn't perfect, I know the only way forward is to keep creating. Discipline, not just inspiration, will carry this project to the finish line, and that's enough for now.